Diary Of A Fat Bloke – I Will Walk 500’000 Steps

My intentions were good. Between steps and the static bike I would accumulate the required 350-400 calories (burning not gaining) which, when achieved daily would equate to roughly 1 lb/ week weight loss. When faced with the cold reality however, there’s a huge difference between a static bike in your living room and at a gym, or even a regular bicycle and some outdoor scenery. ‘I can re-start Cobra Kai’ I though, except at some point the Roku box has forgotten my Netflix credentials. No worries, I make a new plan. ‘I’ll fire up WWE Network and watch something random, that’ll pass 20 minutes’, except the Roku box has forgotten my WWE Network credentials. Starting to panic now I try to figure out something which I haven’t yet watched on Amazon Prime or Disney+. It’s 5 minutes in, i’m getting frustrated and my get up and go has all but got up and gone. After just 5 minutes and (generously) 40 calories, it’s over.

“Start with a wet pop” i believe is the well known phrase! (Don’t Google it…)

The Roku box has now been reminded of all the required credentials and a repeat of Day 1 should not happen again. I now have a dilemma though that my window of opportunity is now all but gone and i’m well below target. I decide i’ll simple have to make up the deficit and make sure I exceed an average of 10k daily steps going forward. Then I figure that 10k daily steps throughout March is 310’000 steps, and if i’m going to set my goal at 310k, why don’t I simply aim for 500k?!

So, the plan for Day 2 is for the weather to cooperate sufficiently that I find 6000+ steps somewhere AND distract myself sufficiently, probably with Cobra Kai, maybe from the beginning or if i can work out where i stopped watching, from there. I am reasonably certain that I can find a suitably varied route around Phoenix Park to give the ‘Couch to 5K and 10k’ App a decent roadtest. From memory it doesn’t record steps but my phone will do that anyway. It’s almost too easy. Anyone who knows me (or has read any ‘real life’ stories I’ve written) will know that a series of unfortunate events will mean I fall into a Blackberry bush or get attacked by a rabid hedgehog or something equally ridiculous. Check back next time to find out what disaster befell me. Until then!

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